This is a story Deirdre dictated to me (Cadie). She dictated it over the course of several days. I’m not sure she ever officially finished it, but we both decided to just post it now since she wasn’t writing any more to it.
I can’t remember if I already posted it, so if I did, this is a repeat. I think, though, that I was going to post it but never actually did.
(Note: It’s not very clear to the reader, but at the beginning of this story, the grandpa and grandma are not married. They are both widow/widower.)
The Story of a Grandpa and Grandma
Once upon a time there was an old man with some grandchildren who lived on a farm. And there was no one there but him. (He had grandchildren, but they were at a different house.) There was a grandma that lived 2 miles away from the grandfather.
The grandpa had a wagon and two horses. One was white with black spots and another was brown with a white streak going down on its forehead. The grandmother had an old-fashioned car. (Not the car nowadays, it was the car like when cars were first coming out.)
The grandpa was a cheerful old man. But the grandma was a grim old grandma! She didn’t care about children, she just cared about how many chores she got at her house and she fussed about how much work she got.
ONE day…. The grandpa decided to visit the grandmother. The grandmother was so surprised that she threw her arms him and decided not to be grim anymore. She decided it was too much work to be grim, and she couldn’t ever do it. So she decided to make a doll for one of the grandchildren girls of the grandpa and of hers. And she started to invent something that was so amazing, she had to work on it for VERY many days. And she decided to call it, a computer.
The grandpa had now driven his horses and pulled up to the grandma’s barn, which was expecting him. Then after she had threwen her arms around him, he said he had to comb his horse’s manes. But then he saw a PONY in the barn. The pony trotted cheerfully up to him, and he saw the grandma standing behind him. She said, “That pony is for you.”
Meanwhile…back at the farm…….
There was this old black-dressed guy. It was night at the grandpa’s farm but it was just beginning to be dark at the grandma’s house. So the guy dressed in black sneaked to the barn. Then he saw another fine horse, that was the horse that guarded the barn.
Then the horse turned around with red eyes!! The horse started trotting to him! She almost had stepped on his head when he ran out, got caught in a coyote trap, and all the coyotes led him to the police. The police threw him in jail.
THEN…..The grandpa started to drive his horses home, but before he could get onto his wagon, the grandmother gave him two torches by the horses and said “That will help the horses see in the dark. Take off those black things [Deirdre told me to add in, “that to Deirdre look like they’re covering the horses eyes.”] That would make the horses be able to see better in the dark.”
When he got back to the farm, he saw that his coyotes and his dogs were holding up the trap and almost had him, but pulled back because they saw it was just him. Then he saw his sheep—it was sheep-shearing day tomorrow.
So he snuck up to bed, made some presents for his sheep (if they be’d good when he sheared his sheep, then they would get the presents). Then he wrapped up the presents, and he put on his pajamas, and slipped into his covers.
It was sheep-shearing day. He invited all the oldest grandchildren over to help. Then he called their father to drive them over there, help with the shearing, and then drive them home. [I’m going to skip about the sheep-shearing because you might not want to hear about it.]
At the airport
Then the grandpa decided to go the airport. He was going to visit one of his old cousins. The airport peoples gave him a pair of binoculars, so that he could see the plane. He was going to be watching the planes till they could find a plane that he could ride in. He called the grandma and told her to come over.
Then the plane took off! The plane went soaring. Boats were holding a net in the water over the ocean near each dock, a net so that if the plane fell in, it would not go into the water. Just then, the airplane went sailing down, down. It landed in the net, but the net broke! The grandpa was watching with wide eyes. He was hoping he wouldn’t be the driver of HIS plane.
Then all the boats went so fast that they managed to catch the airplane’s wings. Then they got lifesavers for the peoples. Then the other peoples got a new net and gave it to the life-savering people and the life-savering people climbed up just in time, netted up the airplane—this time it was a better net, so it held the airplane, and dragged it to the shore. Victory!
At the airport the grandma said she had found her plane and was getting in it. Bad luck for the grandpa! He had to drive HIS plane! [You might not want to hear this story at the airport all over again, but the same thing that happened to the other plane that he was watching happened to him, and he went home to the farm.]
[I’m hoping to make this chapter longer than the last chapter.]
“Here I am,” said the grandfather. “At my home. What is there to do but take a nap, and eat lunch. Sigh…I know! I’ll go and see the alpacas!” (The grandpa also had alpacas.) So then he went out to see his alpacas. He found a cowboy waiting for him. “Come, come,” said the cowboy. “Take your alpaca, and then give me a ticket to see the alpacas.”
“I don’t have any ticket for alpacas!” he said.
“Well then,” the cowboy said, “Just go look at all the other animals, and enjoy your day.”
Later…It was night. The old man was in bed. He had a headache that day, from being out in the sun so long. The cowboy was really that burger, and he had known that the old man didn’t have tickets before he asked.
So he crept up, hoping that the coyotes and dogs weren’t there, and just almost got to steal the alpacas, when….BANG! He heard a loud shot which made him run. As soon as he ran to the road, he saw the old man standing there and the police. Bad luck for the burglar! He was in jail for good.
Meanwhile, at the grandfather’s cousin’s house, they were thinking of coming over to the grandpa’s house, because he didn’t come. [I didn’t tell you this, but he had called his cousins at the airport saying that he was going to come over.]
So the cousins thought up a plan to come over to his house, to see if he had died and gotten buried, or if he was still there and alive. Or if he was still there and dead. They couldn’t call him because he had taken his phone out. He took it out because he didn’t want another burglar stealing his phone.
But the grandpa decided to go over to the grandmother’s house. By the time the grandfather had reached the grandmother’s house, the grandfather’s cousins had reached the grandfather’s house! So they thought he was dead and buried. But that was not true.
But they knew the grandmother, so they decided to ask if she was the one who buried him. Just as they arrived at the grandmother’s house, the grandmother and grandfather were getting out some tea and lemonade to drink.
“You’re just in time for lunch!” said the grandmother. The cousins were surprised out of their wits and said, “Oh good!! You’re alive!!”
“Well duhh,” said the grandfather. So the cousins had the tea, the lunch, and the lemonade, then they went home to the grandfather. They said good-bye to him, and then left to their houses.
[The grandfather’s wife died, in case you’re wondering why I’m writing some of this. And the grandmother’s husband died.]
One day, the grandfather got lonely. So, he decided to call his cousins. And they said, no, they couldn’t visit, they had some work to do right now. So, he decided to take a walk. He went through the woods, he found some flowers, he made a house (a hut to keep anyone who found it warm) in the woods, and he found a vase and washed it off in the stream. He filled it up with water and put the flowers in it.
Then he went home. Then he got bored, again. So he got out a book, and read a book. Then he wrote a book. He decided to go to his barn. He fed his animals. Then he decided to go visit the grandchildren. So he visited the grandchildren, and gave them some cookies, and then went home because there was nothing to do there.
And then he decided to visit the grandmother’s house. So, the grandmother, got out some lemonade, and gave him a glass of it. Then they talked for a while, they read some books, they played and played and played. Thennn….they went on a walk. And then the grandfather left.
“Okay,” said the grandfather. “I left. Now what is there to do? Well, I’ve done everything I could. Except for taking a nap. So that’s what I’ll do.”
Then, after the nap, he made a loaf of bread, he made a pie, and decided to take hammer, nails, an axe, and a saw. And he made the hut into an actual house. Then when the house was done, he made some furniture in it, and then caught some fish from a lake, and then put the fish onto a frying pan on the stove. Then he left.
Thennn….[I’m kind of shy to tell you what I’m about to tell you.] He went over to the grandmother’s house and he asked if he could marry her. She said yes.
[You know they’re too old to have children. He just got too lonely so he needed someone.]
“Hmmm…” said the old man. [Not the grandfather, a different person.] “I need something to do.” So he decided to go to the grandfather’s house. This old man’s name was Frank. Frank was a nice old man. And the grandfather knew Frank.
So Frank went. Then the grandfather was happy to see Frank. Frank said he was bored. “Let’s play a board game then!” said the grandfather. “Board games make you bored, ha ha!”
“Ha ha!” said Frank. “That’s a good joke! Really, board games DO make you less bored!”
So they played and played and played until it was time to catch fireflies. Grandfather and Frank went out to catch fireflies while the grandmother made the supper. So then, when it was suppertime, they went in to eat supper.
Then they went back out after they were done eating supper to watch out for bats, and fireflies and owls. So then they heard an owl. They put out an owl trap. In their owl trap, the owl was in there! Then they let the owl into their bird cage and brung it inside for the night. For it was almost winter!
When winter came, they moved the cage from the window down onto a stool. And all the other creatures they had captured down there, too! They had captured owls, bats, fireflies, rabbits, field mice, goldfish in a fishbowl and a deer (a fawn).
Then winter was over and spring had come. When they had captured them they were babies but now they were all grown up and they let them go. They dumped goldfish into water in the lake and let the others go free.
Then Frank said it was time to go home. It was time that Frank had to do sheep-shearing and so did the grandfather, tomorrow morning—both.
[ I’m actually going to talk a little bit about sheep-shearing now, at this chapter.]
So the grandfather called the oldest cousins and the father for the sheep-shearing, just like last time. The sheep were used to getting pinned down, and they knew they were going to get a present if they behaved. So they got pinned down, got a bucket of soapy water dumped all over them, got scrubbed off, and got their wool cut off.
Then they tied the wool up in a basket, and carried it into the house. And then, the grandmother started making some coats and stuff with the wool. And made some of the wool into yarn. [Now I’m done talking about sheep-shearing, and I’m going to talk about something else at this chapter.]
The grandfather went to see his alpacas! Now this time, no cowboy, nobody was there. So he felt his alpacas, and said it was about the time that one was about to have a baby. So he would have to feed it more than the others this year. Even if it didn’t eat all that he gave it.
So then, the grandmother was all ready for him, when he came stomping back in. He went upstairs, to the bathroom, went the potty, took a shower, then went down to the grandmother, ate his lunch, and went to work in his garden. The only thing that was lighting up the house was candles. So when it got dark, he got some torches, and kept on working in the garden. He worked until it was supper. Then he talked to the grandmother.
A cheerful day
[Remember the one about Frank? Well, you notice how I didn’t say that Frank fed his animals, while he was gone all winter, so the animals must have fed themselves! Haha.]
One day, it was a Saturday and the grandfather slept in. But the grandmother got up extra early. Because she baked and baked and baked on Saturday. Some of the baking was for Sunday, but the other bakings were for that day.
And since the grandfather was still asleep, she went out to do his chores for him. She even milked the cow! And when the grandfather woke up, he smelled pie! The grandfather loved pie. So before he even got dressed, he ran downstairs, and licked his chops, and went on a treasure hunt for the pie!
But the grandmother stopped him. And said, “Now, now, don’t be greedy. So close your eyes…” and he closed his eyes. And she hid them in the cupboard. And she said “You can open them now!” (That cupboard was a secret cupboard, but they have a cupboard that isn’t secret too.)
Now she said, “Go up and get dressed. We’re having pie for breakfast.”
“Goody goody gumdrops!!” said the grandpa.
“But only after you’re done eating breakfast,” the grandma said.
So he got dressed. For breakfast they had chocolate graham crackers, eggs and toast. Then they had the PIE!!! There were raspberry pie, blackberry pie, and chocolate cream pie. The grandpa loved chocolate so of course his favorite pie was chocolate cream pie. And the grandma’s favorite was blackberry pie, because she really liked blackberries. (You might expect the grandma and the grandpa got fat, but they didn’t.)
After breakfast the grandma worked in the garden, while the grandpa made his house more welcoming and cozy for any traveler that was lost, which a blizzard might come, and he’d get lost in, and he’d come and get all cozy until the blizzard stopped. (He’s just doing it for next winter.)
After he was done making the house more comfortable and cozy, he asked the grandmother if she would like to ride with him on the wagon tied to the best horse, which was the black one with white spots. His name was Firefly. And the brown horse with the white stripe on her nose was called Buttercup.
The grandmother said, “Yes, yes, yes!” because besides working on new things, she also liked animals. So, the horse didn’t need any help pulling the wagon, and so the grandpa shouted “Hurry up and move!” So the horse started to trot, and the grandpa said “Run!” (This was a special kind of horse so it understood human language.)
So the horse started to run, and they were off. And the grandfather said to the horse, “To the grandchildren’s house!” And so the horse started to the grandchildren’s house. And, when they got there, the grandmother got to work to make the invention she called the “computer” for the grandchildren, and showed them everything about it.
And then, she just barely managed to make a machine that made something that she called a CD. And on one CD she made lots of different games, so the children could play all of the games!
And then they went off to make a compost so the children didn’t have to make a large pile of compost in their house, they could make it outside in the compost bin that they made.
So then they went home, and had a fun ride from the woods down to the house inside of the wagon, and then went to take a nap. It was 12:00 noon when they woke up. And they ate up lunch and then wolfed up the rest of the pie!
Then the grandmother reminded the grandfather what he had said last night. He had said that today was the day when a cousin was coming over. His name was James. James was as nice as Frank, but he didn’t come over to visit as long.
Meanwhile, back at James house. . .
“Hmm. . .” said James. Then the phone rang. He ran to pick up the phone. It was the grandfather! The grandfather was reminding him to come over, and James said, “Oh, yes, I should do that right now!”
And before the grandfather could say bye, James had hung up and was running to get on his horse. Because it had been a long time since he had visited. (James was actually the brother of the grandmother, but he didn’t know that the grandmother and the grandfather had married, so it was going to be a surprise.)
So when he had reached the grandmother and grandfather, they were already waiting for him in the barn to take his horse in. And he was still riding the horse when he came in. And then the horse was surprised, too! The horse was as smart as the grandfather and the grandmother’s one called Firefly.
So the horse screeched on his heels he was so surprised, but luckfully managed to land on all fours. But that didn’t matter anyway, because James was so surprised, he still nearly fell off the horse even if the horse didn’t do that. [I haven’t told you the grandfather’s name, so now I’m going to tell you. But I’m still going to call him the grandfather in the story. His name was John.] Of course he was surprised at the grandfather being married to the grandma. And the grandfather said, “You’re just in time to help me paint my barn, James!”
“That’s good!” said James. “I was thinking that I was just in the mood for painting the barn! But my barn hasn’t been painted either, so it needed to be done.” So while they worked on painting the barn, the grandfather said to paint it red, so they were painting it red. While the grandmother was making a nice big supper for the hungry workers.
It wasn’t suppertime quite yet and they weren’t quite enough hungry to get starved yet. So they went over to James house, to paint his barn. When they came home, they were starving. But it was suppertime, so they got to wolf down supper.
For supper they had hot dogs, French fries, chocolate milk for drink, and then they had a chocolate dessert. And as the grandmother brought in the chocolate dessert, she sang, “Dessert, dessert, dessert all the day!” And then they all clapped because they were pretending it was a birthday, they just didn’t say the right words.
But before the grandfather and James could eat any chocolate cake, they were laughing so hard that their belly ached with laughter. And then as soon as the grandmother was laughing, laughing at them for laughing so hard their belly ached, she had to run to put the cake down so that it wouldn’t get ruined from getting spilled, and then sat down and she laughed until her belly ached.
And then it took such a long time to stop laughing, that they were all empty inside, and ate up all of the cake, and half of the second cake. And then remembering about how hard they had laughed, they just fell asleep right there in their chairs. (THE END)